\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
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After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
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After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

\u201cYou are right. (Laughs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

Say like that and live smiling, starting today. I know it\u2019s not easy, but am I right or not?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are right. (Laughs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\u201cIt\u2019s because probably I will not live as long as you will. You may have time to get mad or cry but I don\u2019t have enough time even to smile. So, I have to smile.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Say like that and live smiling, starting today. I know it\u2019s not easy, but am I right or not?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are right. (Laughs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cThen smile from now on because you will die sooner than others. If other people ask you, \u2018Why are you smiling when you have cancer?\u2019, then answer like this,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s because probably I will not live as long as you will. You may have time to get mad or cry but I don\u2019t have enough time even to smile. So, I have to smile.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Say like that and live smiling, starting today. I know it\u2019s not easy, but am I right or not?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are right. (Laughs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 4 1 2 4
\n

I would rather live my life smiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen smile from now on because you will die sooner than others. If other people ask you, \u2018Why are you smiling when you have cancer?\u2019, then answer like this,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s because probably I will not live as long as you will. You may have time to get mad or cry but I don\u2019t have enough time even to smile. So, I have to smile.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Say like that and live smiling, starting today. I know it\u2019s not easy, but am I right or not?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are right. (Laughs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

Your life would be shorter than others\u2019. Then, which is better, to live with suffering or to live happily? It may be okay for other people to live with suffering since they will live longer, but shouldn\u2019t you live more happily because your life will be shorter? What do you think? Which is better, to keep crying, lamenting that you will die in a year, or to live your life smiling even if you have only one day to live?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would rather live my life smiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen smile from now on because you will die sooner than others. If other people ask you, \u2018Why are you smiling when you have cancer?\u2019, then answer like this,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s because probably I will not live as long as you will. You may have time to get mad or cry but I don\u2019t have enough time even to smile. So, I have to smile.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Say like that and live smiling, starting today. I know it\u2019s not easy, but am I right or not?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are right. (Laughs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\u201cI think I may die sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your life would be shorter than others\u2019. Then, which is better, to live with suffering or to live happily? It may be okay for other people to live with suffering since they will live longer, but shouldn\u2019t you live more happily because your life will be shorter? What do you think? Which is better, to keep crying, lamenting that you will die in a year, or to live your life smiling even if you have only one day to live?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would rather live my life smiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen smile from now on because you will die sooner than others. If other people ask you, \u2018Why are you smiling when you have cancer?\u2019, then answer like this,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s because probably I will not live as long as you will. You may have time to get mad or cry but I don\u2019t have enough time even to smile. So, I have to smile.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Say like that and live smiling, starting today. I know it\u2019s not easy, but am I right or not?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are right. (Laughs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

Having the fear of death is the proof that you are alive. Although we don\u2019t know for sure whether you will live one or ten more years, if your cancer is serious, will you die sooner or later than people who die of natural causes?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think I may die sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your life would be shorter than others\u2019. Then, which is better, to live with suffering or to live happily? It may be okay for other people to live with suffering since they will live longer, but shouldn\u2019t you live more happily because your life will be shorter? What do you think? Which is better, to keep crying, lamenting that you will die in a year, or to live your life smiling even if you have only one day to live?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would rather live my life smiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen smile from now on because you will die sooner than others. If other people ask you, \u2018Why are you smiling when you have cancer?\u2019, then answer like this,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s because probably I will not live as long as you will. You may have time to get mad or cry but I don\u2019t have enough time even to smile. So, I have to smile.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Say like that and live smiling, starting today. I know it\u2019s not easy, but am I right or not?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are right. (Laughs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices and the responsibilities that come with the choices we make. Taking responsibility for the choices we make is to willingly accept the consequences of our choices. If we readily accept the consequences of our actions, we won\u2019t be miserable or resentful no matter what happens.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Choice And Self-Contradiction","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"choice-and-self-contradiction","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-18 18:21:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19676","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19657,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-11 15:25:04","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-11 20:25:04","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I ask people, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don\u2019t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God\u2019s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don\u2019t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let\u2019s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, \u201cHe swore at me,\u201d or \u201cHe slighted me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn\u2019t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, \u201cEww, it\u2019s dirty,\u201d and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn\u2019t change, and we continue to be miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual\u2019s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual\u2019s effort alone doesn\u2019t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual\u2019s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like \u201cAs long as it is not me, it\u2019s all right.\u201d or \u201cIt can\u2019t possibly happen to me.\u201d will not protect us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.<\/p>\n","post_title":"You Have The Right To Be Happy Regardless Of Your Life Situation","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"you-have-the-right-to-be-happy-regardless-of-your-life-situation","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-12 15:30:20","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-12 20:30:20","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19657","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19411,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-04 23:10:17","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-05 04:10:17","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today's Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim's husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim\u2019s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cHello, I'm Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let\u2019s welcome him with a round of applause. I'd like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We're here to converse freely on any topic. It's not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let's begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Bad things happen to good people. I can\u2019t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Good intentions and good outcomes don\u2019t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it\u2019s not true. Then one might ask, \u201cDoes it mean that we don\u2019t need to do good deeds?\u201d No, it's better to do good deeds than not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That\u2019s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it's better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let's say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it's a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That's why it's more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, \u201cWhy did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.\u201d But it's a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been hurt many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You feel hurt because you\u2019re thinking how can this person criticize me when I've complimented him. If you think, \u201cHe could criticize me\u201d you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: No, it's fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Then what bothers you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I've done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Right now I\u2019m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn't like my talk could say to my face, \u201cI\u2019m upset, why did you say those things?\u201d Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, \u201cHis talk was boring. It wasn't anything special.\u201d (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's worse to criticize you to your face. It's not our culture to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: That's right. That person doesn't criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That's why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It would be better to think that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That\u2019s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It\u2019s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn\u2019t criticize at all (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: Why don't people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: When people have issues with someone, it\u2019s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: It's not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That's why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it's natural. There's an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren\u2019t allowed to curse the king. You're not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you're more important than a king.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I\u2019m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I\u2019m straightforward and honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: I agree that's a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That's the reality. People are different, and that person isn't like you. Right now what you're insisting is that other people be like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q<\/strong>: I didn't realize I was doing that. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim's answer were particularly good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman said that she's a nice person but doesn't get the respect. When the Sunim responded that \u201cyou\u2019re not nice,\u201d the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, \u201cIt is what it is.\u201d In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it\u2019s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said \u201cThose who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there's no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That's why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it\u2019s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Bad Things Happen To Good People. I Can\u2019t Seem To Get Past The Bad Things That Others Have Done To Me. How Do I Let These Actions Go And Find Peace?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"bad-things-happen-to-good-people-i-cant-seem-to-get-past-the-bad-things-that-others-have-done-to-me-how-do-i-let-these-actions-go-and-find-peace","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-06-01 23:14:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-06-02 04:14:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19411","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19343,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-28 14:39:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-28 19:39:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Since we have been given the gift of life, we should make it beautiful. However, we trap ourselves in the perceptions we have created with our thoughts and make ourselves miserable. I encourage people to think positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d According to the teachings of the Buddha, there is no such thing as a good or a bad person, but if people are going to form perceptions, they would be better off having positive ones. Likewise, if they are going to have dreams, it\u2019s better to have a good dream than a nightmare. In sum, if you are positive, you will become happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have formed any negative perceptions in your mind, you should try to get rid of it. To do so, you need to repent and aspire to form positive perceptions. That is why I advise people to have positive thoughts such as \u201cMy husband is a good person.\u201d or \u201cMy wife is a good person.\u201d People should always have positive thoughts in their everyday lives, but it\u2019s not easy, especially at the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, we should constantly reflect on the state of our minds, so we can let go of any hatred we are holding on to. In addition, we must become aware of any mistakes we have made unconsciously, repent, and vow never to make the same mistakes again. When we continue to do this, we will one day find ourselves changed and happy. When we consciously monitor our perception based on rationality, our destinies will gradually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we disapprove of someone, we feel miserable, but when we begin praying and manage to let go of our obsession over that person, we become happy. However, that happy state doesn\u2019t last long because when we notice our husband or our children changing a little in a positive direction, our expectations increase. Rather than focusing on changing ourselves, we wish for other people to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we notice a member of our family unexpectedly begin to change for the better, we appreciate it, but at the same time, we also become greedy and think that if we pray a little harder, they will show even more improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if they don\u2019t change any more despite our earnest prayers, we become frustrated. It\u2019s true we feel happy when our husbands or children or friends change for the better, but it\u2019s dangerous to make that our source of happiness. Whether they change or not is their business. In order to become truly free, we should focus on our own practice regardless of their change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change in people around you is only a very small effect of your practice. Therefore, when you regard their change as a miracle and focus on changing them, you will become miserable. This is not to say that it\u2019s better for those around you not to change. In fact, it\u2019s none of our business whether they change or not. If they change, it\u2019s good for them, and if they don\u2019t, it\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your happiness can be constant when you are not affected by whether others change or not. It\u2019s a good thing that your husband or children change for the better, but you should not think it happened as a result of your prayers. You should just be thankful rather than be happy for any improvements. Instead of thinking, \u201cI am so happy that my husband has changed.\u201d you should think, \u201cI am so thankful that my husband is happy.\u201d If your happiness depends on the behavior of others, you may fall back into misery according to their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must focus on your own practice to be strong and calm even when you are struck by a disaster or hit by tragedies, such as the death of a loved one or your child getting into an accident. An accident can be resolved, an illness can be treated, and death can be accepted. Your mind should remain stable at all times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, if you are affected by things that happen around you and constantly think about the reason that you like or don\u2019t like something, you will never be free from suffering. You can become truly free if you continue to cultivate your mind regardless of the things that happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can become more free tomorrow than today and become happier tomorrow compared to today. No matter what your family members may have done, they have their own lives. Regardless of how you may have lived until now, you must become happy first and foremost in the midst of everything. As you continue to cultivate your mind, you will wake up one morning and experience a whole different world. Thus, the Buddha once said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man fighting alone wins a thousand battles, winning against himself is far more glorious. A man who conquers himself is the wisest and is called a hero among heroes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we love and understand others, we feel lighthearted and happy. When we help and take care of others, we are the adults and the owners of our own destinies. It is a way that will make us beautiful, more so than wearing pretty clothes or having high positions in society. Then, we lead lives that are dignified and peaceful, and colored as beautifully as fall foliage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The path of truth leads us to freedom and happiness. The path must be beneficial to us and others in the present and in the future. A path which benefits only us and not others or only others and not us is not sustainable. If we do something that only benefits us and is detrimental to others, we will have to deal with the consequences later in life. If we sacrifice ourselves to benefit others, we won\u2019t be able to keep doing it for a long time. Consequently, in order to have sustainable happiness, we must choose a path that is beneficial to everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make a choice that is good for now but may be harmful later, you will regret it. On the other hand, if you decide to do something that is good for the future but bad for you now, you will have a hard time doing it and be miserable. Therefore, you must choose a path that is good for both the present and the future. I hope you fully enjoy a sustainable happiness on the path of truth that is beneficial to you and others in the present and the future.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Happiness Should Begin With Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"happiness-should-begin-with-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-26 14:46:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-26 19:46:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19343","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19179,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-21 13:10:21","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-21 18:10:21","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In the spring, all kinds of beautiful flowers bloom everywhere in the mountains and the fields. Not only are the flowers beautiful, but the newly budding leaves are also very beautiful. Spring sprouts flourish over the summer, turn into warm colors in the autumn, and eventually wither and fall off the branches. Looking at this natural process, many people say, \"Falling autumn leaves look so forlorn.\" However, are the falling leaves really forlorn? No, they are not. Those who are looking at the falling leaves are the ones who are feeling sad. Looking at the withered leaves, people feel sad about getting old, thinking to themselves, \"My radiant youth is withering away like those leaves.\" Are only spring flowers and budding sprouts beautiful? Colored foliage is also very beautiful. Just like we take the time to go to see spring flowers in the spring, we also go to see the colorful foliage in the fall. No matter how pretty a flower, people won\u2019t pick up a fallen flower from the ground to keep. However, they will pick up a beautifully colored autumn leaf to keep in between the pages of a book for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, we are born, grow up, and grow old. If we grow old like beautifully colored fall foliage, aging won\u2019t be such a bad thing. If we age naturally, the way nature changes, we will already be at peace with ourselves. What should we do in order to age as beautifully as autumn foliage? We must let go of our strong desire to stay young and calmly accept growing old. We should simply adapt to the changes without even the thought, \"I should age gracefully.\" We should view becoming old \u2013 getting sick, hair becoming gray, getting wrinkles, and even our legs aching \u2013 as a natural process. Usually, a person who has accepted his given situation has a very peaceful demeanor. Looking at this person, people may think, \"That person is very bright and confident despite his age.\" Such a person can be regarded as aging beautifully like a dazzling colored autumn leaf. Therefore, growing old is not pathetic or miserable but simply natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to age like a beautifully colored autumn leaf, one should be cautious of any \"excessiveness.\" There are many undesirable side effects when people give in to excessiveness in their old age. Although it is relatively easy for the young to recover from excessiveness, it is very hard for the elderly to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all, the elderly should not overeat. If young people overeat, they can easily recover by taking digestive pills. However, as people get older their digestive abilities weaken so when the elderly overeat, they are likely to get sick. Therefore, no matter how delicious the food may be, they must not overeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, the elderly should not overdrink. When young people drink so much that they cannot walk straight, they will usually recover in a day or two. However, when the elderly overdrink, their health will likely deteriorate significantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirdly, the elderly should not overwork. When young people overwork, they will recover quickly after getting some rest. However, when the elderly overwork, they usually have difficulty recovering. This is not to say that the elderly shouldn\u2019t do anything. They should stay active to the extent that they don\u2019t overly tax their bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people grow old, they should not do anything to excess or be greedy as they were in their youth. When young people actively try out different jobs, people will praise them for being brave and motivated. Also, when young people try to do something out of greed, people refer to them as being ambitious. However, if the elderly do the same, people will say they are being greedy in their old age. Moreover, people think well of young people voicing their opinions strongly. The elderly, however, are better off expressing their opinions peacefully and calmly for their own sake and that of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow old, they should try to organize their affairs and wrap things up one by one rather than starting a new business or project. This doesn't mean that they should give up on life. However, since they are at an age comparable to when trees are bearing fruit and require trimming of small branches, they should wrap things up appropriately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, instead of lamenting over getting old and trying to regain their youth, people should be able to calmly view themselves and accept that they are aging like the leaves that are gradually taking on their fall colors. Then, they will be able to let go of their greed naturally little by little.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Colorful Fall Foliage Is More Beautiful Than Spring Flowers","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"colorful-fall-foliage-is-more-beautiful-than-spring-flowers","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:18:39","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:18:39","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19179","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19174,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-14 01:02:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-14 06:02:00","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: \u201cI still have lingering emotions such as misunderstanding, hatred, agony, and anger towards my wife.\u201d This is a story of a man who was in the process of getting a divorce. He said that he was calmer than when he first decided to get divorced, but he still had negative feelings towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple may end up getting a divorce. It\u2019s not important whether one gets divorced or not. What\u2019s important is for people to reflect on themselves and the reasons for getting divorced. That way, they will not repeat the mistakes in future relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The biggest reason behind marital conflict is that both the husband and wife insist they are right. When the wife says to her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re stubborn.\u201d he does not realize that he is being stubborn. He believes that he is right, so he responds \u201cI\u2019m not being stubborn, I am just expressing my thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the wife says \u201cYou get angry and irritated very easily.\u201d the husband will generally retort, \u201cWhy do you think I get angry? When did I get irritated? I got angry because you got angry.\u201d People usually don\u2019t realize how they are expressing their emotions and how they are acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the wife of the man who is in the process of getting a divorce were asked, \u201cIs your husband understanding or opinionated?\u201d She would probably answer, \u201cHe is very opinionated.\u201d If she were asked, \u201cIs your husband selfish or devoted?\u201d She would probably respond that he is selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In most cases, how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you are very different. Of course, we cannot be definitive about which perspective is a more objective. However, it is safe to say other people\u2019s perception of you is usually more objective than your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds, I wrote that people become miserable when they are in a relationship because they want to benefit from the other person. Wanting to benefit from the other person is not necessarily a bad thing. However, people should know that according to the law of cause and effect, when you gain something from others, you must pay it back sooner or later. When you borrow money from others, you can spend more than what you earn. Later, however, you must face the consequence of having to pay back the money. If we benefit from others, they will see it as a loss and demand something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you need to either abandon the intention of benefiting from others or recognize, \u2018\u201cI\u2019m trying to benefit from someone.\u201d When you\u2019re being stubborn, become aware, \u201cI am being stubborn. If I continue being obstinate, that person will become frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to be aware of your actions and feelings. Then, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are selfish.\u201d you can calmly acknowledge his or her opinion and say, \u201cYeah, I am pretty selfish.\u201d. This makes communication possible. You can still communicate with your spouse even if you are not able to get rid of selfishness and stubbornness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are completely unaware that you are being selfish or stubborn, when your spouse says, \u201cYou\u2019re selfish\u201d you may retort, \u201cAm I the only one who is selfish? Aren\u2019t you selfish too?\u201d or snap angrily, \u201cWhat do you mean I am selfish?\u201d In the same vein, when your spouse says, \u201cYou are stubborn.\u201d you may react by either saying \u201cWhat do you mean I am stubborn?\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you stubborn too?\u201d If you react this way you won\u2019t be able to communicate with your spouse and end up hurting your spouse as well as yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All human beings are selfish. If we accept this fact and admit to our selfishness, we will be able to communicate well with others. For example, we usually call someone when we need some kind of help from that person. Nine out of ten phone calls, if not ten out of ten, are made to make inquiries or ask for something. We rarely call someone to simply ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything I can help with?\u201d If we accept this fact, we can take it in stride when someone calls and asks for a favor. However, we tend to complain, \u201cHe only calls when he needs something.\u201d This can lead to conflict. Thus, if we accept that we are also selfish, we will stop condemning others for being selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone calls you to ask for help and you are able to help him with whatever he needs, he will appreciate it. While it is tiresome when people ask for help, the fact that you are called on to help means that you are more capable and in a better position than those who request help. If you get irritated when someone asks for help, you won\u2019t be able to utilize your capabilities. In this regard, you shouldn\u2019t consider phone calls or requests for help tiresome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t always have to be devoted and compliant in order to communicate with others. Simply being aware of your selfishness will enable you to communicate well. It may seem to a husband that his wife is the problem, being selfish and stubborn. However, the fact is, the wife also feels the same way about her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision to get divorced or not is up to this man, but he should not hate his wife. The man will find that after he divorces his wife, she will likely meet a man who loves her as she is, and he himself will find a woman who loves him as he is. He must realize that his wife is neither good nor bad. He felt negative emotions towards his wife because she did not meet his demands. Therefore, the wife herself is not the problem, but rather his negative emotions towards unmet demands or expectations. So, even if the man chooses to get a divorce, it is important not to make the past into a hurtful memory by hating his wife. He should not hate her regardless of whether he stays in the marriage or not. If he hates her, the time he spent married to his wife will become a wasted part of his life. Therefore, even if he decides to get divorced, he needs to give prayers of repentance and thanks towards his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it weren\u2019t for his wife, the man could still be unmarried and living alone. Thanks to her, he wasn\u2019t lonely. Getting divorced is not the end of the world since he can get married again. Also, he can regard the time he lived with her as simply one of his life experiences. If he hates his wife, the time they were together will remain a wound, but if he feels thankful to her, the marriage will become an experience and an asset in his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only when the man values all of his life up to this moment, including his marriage, will he be able to enjoy the rest of his life whether he remarries or not. However, if his marriage remains a wound, it may color his future relationships with women. If a woman he is interested in shows a slight similarity in behavior or disposition to those of his ex-wife, he will become fearful of having the same problems again, and this may have a negative effect on his future relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you go through a break-up, you may seem to be okay on the surface, but you may be wounded in your subconscious. There are two ways to cure yourself. One way is to repent towards your spouse with the thought, \u201cYou must have gone through a lot being married to me. I am really sorry.\u201d The other is being thankful towards your spouse.: \u201cThank you for staying married to me for three years. It was a good experience in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After much prayer, when repentance and gratitude truly resonate with your heart, the wounds will be healed. Only then, will you not repeat the same mistakes in the future. It is best to shake off the past with prayers of repentance and gratitude and to prepare for a new life with hope.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Break Up Without Leaving Regrets Or Wounds","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-break-up-without-leaving-regrets-or-wounds","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-12 13:09:48","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-12 18:09:48","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19174","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18808,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-05-07 11:50:54","post_date_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:54","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: In the past, people aged sixty and up were considered to be senior citizens. Therefore, the retirement age was set at sixty years old. However, the 60-year-olds of today are as healthy as the 50-year-olds of a few decades ago. Since people are now healthier and have a higher life expectancy, it may be necessary to increase the retirement age by about 10 years. However, there is a condition. Since there is already a shortage of jobs, there will be fewer jobs for young people if the retirement age is pushed up, so job sharing is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s say that someone is 58 years old and has reached the retirement age at his company and his monthly salary is $5,000. If the company were to raise the retirement age but were to pay the same salary, it would have to bear a bigger financial burden and be unable to hire many new employees. Moreover, as employees become older, they acquire wisdom and experience but inevitably lag behind in their pace of work and technological expertise. In this case, it is possible for the company to continue benefiting from the experience and accumulated knowledge of the older employees by keeping them employed but at a lower position and salary. In other words, if the person at retirement age is the head of a department, he could hand over his position to a junior employee and take the role of an advisor or a member of the guidance committee with a lower salary of $3,000. When he reaches 70, he could further reduce his work hours and work only three days per week with a monthly salary of $2,000. This way the company can effectively utilize his skills and experience without too much financial burden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people grow older, they should let go of their stereotypes about different jobs. A person may work as a security guard after retiring from a position as the head of a department. When our society teaches that all occupations are equally valuable, people may respect an ex-CEO all the more when he retires and works as a security guard at the same company, not look down on him. Likewise, a retired school principal, instead idling his time away, may volunteer in assisting young teachers with class preparations or teach a class once a week. If we can distribute work appropriately, lowering the wages and work hours for certain positions, we can create a system which helps older workers stay employed and make some money without overworking themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In today\u2019s society, elderly people are treated as if they cannot do anything, but if you look around, there is plenty of work for them to do. In our Jungto practitioners\u2019 community, we see that when young people make kimchi or bean paste, it lacks flavor, but when the older ladies make it, it is delicious. Since the physical labor that goes into making these foods is too taxing for the older practitioners they can divide the work with the younger practitioners and work in harmony as a team. When young people do the heavy lifting and older people offer advice on combining the condiments or salting cabbages, the job can be completed in a very efficient manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at a farm, all the produce like lettuce and cabbages seem to flourish in the hands of older people but do not do so well under the care of younger people. Therefore, if the older people plant the seeds and tend to the crop while the younger people undertake the more laborious tasks, they can achieve harmony. When people can work this way, even people in their eighties are able to play a significant role.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you travel to the countryside, you will see old men working like strong young men. When people are young, working in the city looks sophisticated and farming in the countryside seems outdated. However, those who work in the city are forced to retire at a relatively young age while there is no such thing as retirement for farmers even if they reach their seventies. Farmers can keep working as much as they are able to. Therefore, instead of relying on their children in their old age, they are able to send their children the produce they farmed even in their eighties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As people get older, they stay vibrant when they keep active and stay useful. Older people in poor and destitute countries who have to keep working have eyes that are full of life, whereas those of people in the U.S who sit leisurely on park benches or rocking chairs do not have that same vigor and liveliness. Living in physical comfort with nothing much to do is not necessarily a good thing. Rather, it is beneficial for the mind and body to keep active whether it is by weeding in the field or cleaning the house.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Working In Old Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"working-in-old-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-05-07 11:50:55","post_modified_gmt":"2024-05-07 16:50:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18808","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cWhile I\u2019m alive.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having the fear of death is the proof that you are alive. Although we don\u2019t know for sure whether you will live one or ten more years, if your cancer is serious, will you die sooner or later than people who die of natural causes?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think I may die sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your life would be shorter than others\u2019. Then, which is better, to live with suffering or to live happily? It may be okay for other people to live with suffering since they will live longer, but shouldn\u2019t you live more happily because your life will be shorter? What do you think? Which is better, to keep crying, lamenting that you will die in a year, or to live your life smiling even if you have only one day to live?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would rather live my life smiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen smile from now on because you will die sooner than others. If other people ask you, \u2018Why are you smiling when you have cancer?\u2019, then answer like this,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s because probably I will not live as long as you will. You may have time to get mad or cry but I don\u2019t have enough time even to smile. So, I have to smile.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Say like that and live smiling, starting today. I know it\u2019s not easy, but am I right or not?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are right. (Laughs)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shorter your life is, the more you should smile. If you are to die tomorrow, you should smile all day long today. There is not enough time left to smile. Even if you have only one year to live, you should always live happily. You have no time for tears.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the religious viewpoint it\u2019s not such a bad thing for you to die in one year; it\u2019s a rather good thing because you get to see your son soon. But, you don\u2019t need to hasten your death, either.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I live long, it\u2019s good to spend time with my family and if I die when my time comes, it\u2019s good to meet my son in heaven.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think like that, there is no problem. As long as you are alive, however, you should live smiling instead of crying foolishly like you are doing now. How about changing your perspective like this?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should have smiled when you answered. Smiling is more important than giving an answer. Please remember two things; first, say goodbye to your son; second, you should smile more often because your life will be shorter. Let\u2019s try again. Say, \u2018Goodbye, my son.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodbye, my son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. This time say \u2018I\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll live my short life smiling\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Please give her a round of applause. You go ahead and smile. Now I can see some smile around your lips. Though you\u2019re still tearful, you\u2019re smiling. (Laughs)\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunim also clapped loudly, encouraging the questioner. Comments of encouragement poured in in the chat box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Besides this question, there were a variety of questions including a question by an elementary school student who asked about friendship, one by a man in his 40s who was worrying about making ends meet, one by a Christian who was curious about life after death, one by a son-in-law who had issues with his father-in-law, and one by a woman in her 30s who asked about how not to get irritated with her children. After responding to eight questions, Sunim asked for the questioners\u2019 comments. The woman who lost her son gave her comment without tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will get up the courage again as you told me. I won\u2019t distress my family with the second arrow but live wisely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease give her a round of applause.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"alt\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sunim and the audience gave her encouraging applause.<\/p>\n","post_title":"My Son, Declared Brain Dead, Passed Away And I Was Diagnosed With Advanced Cancer","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-son-declared-brain-dead-passed-away-and-i-was-diagnosed-with-advanced-cancer","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-07-14 14:17:56","post_modified_gmt":"2024-07-14 19:17:56","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=19795","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":19676,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-06-18 18:21:15","post_date_gmt":"2024-06-18 23:21:15","post_content":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the course of our lives, we make choices that we think are best at the time. However, when we look back, we realize that the choices we considered to be good before did not have the best consequences. For example, you get married to be happy, but your marriage may end up making you unhappy. You have a child and expect to become happier, but your child may end up making you so miserable that you envy people who don\u2019t have any children. You start a business to make money, but you may end up in debt. Consequently, we are often regretful and miserable because things don\u2019t turn out the way we intended. Then, we wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I the master of my life?\u201d \u201cOr have I been swept here by the currents of the world?\u201d Indeed, are we living our lives as the masters of our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once, there was a man who left his home, his assets, his position, and loved ones to become a monk in order to attain enlightenment. After several years of practice at a temple, he came to believe that it would be impossible for him to attain enlightenment if he continued to live in a community of monks. He felt he didn\u2019t have enough time to practice as he had to do chores, cook meals, and do various other tasks that were part of communal living. He thought to himself,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would be better for me to go alone deep into the mountains and practice to my heart\u2019s content.\u201d He went deep into the mountains, about ten kilometers away from the nearest village. He first built a thatched cottage to take shelter from the elements and went down to the village regularly to get food. He had more work to do now than before. The cottage often needed repairs, and he had to walk ten kilometers almost every day to get food from the village. Since he walked long distances, he needed to make straw shoes more frequently than before. Therefore, he didn\u2019t have any time to practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, he got sick. He went to see a doctor who said his illness was caused by malnutrition and that he needed to drink a glass of milk every day. But how could he get milk in the mountains? So, he went down to the village every day to get a glass of milk. Since this was too time consuming, he bought a couple of goats and took them to his cottage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he now got milk from the goats, he was spared the trouble of making a trip to the village every day. However, he now had more chores to do than before. He had to tie the goats to posts to prevent them from escaping, feed them regularly, and cut enough grass to feed all of them. He was able to drink milk thanks to the goats, but he had less time to practice as he had to take care of them. In order to solve this problem, he hired a goat keeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he needed to pay the goat keeper. Before, he only had to get enough food to feed himself during his alms round. However, he now also had to get food and money to give to the goat keeper, so his alms round took much longer. He couldn\u2019t let this go on. He thought to himself, \u201cIt may be better to get married than go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He got married, and he was happy that he didn\u2019t have to pay the goat keeper or do any housework. He thought that he could finally concentrate on his practice. But alas, his wife became pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the man who left his home and family to become a monk and attain enlightenment got married, had children, and ended up scraping a living just like any other lay person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After hearing this man\u2019s life story, you will probably think that he is very foolish, but most of us live like him. We think that we are always making good choices. However, when we look back later, we can see that tempted by the moment\u2019s comfort and ease, we have forgotten our initial goal and purpose. If a man gets married, he should live accordingly, and if a man leaves home to become a monk, he should also live accordingly. If we have such a clear perspective on life, we will suffer less. However, we are so easily swayed that when things get tough, we say, \u201cMaybe I should become a monk.\u201d Then, after becoming a monk, we envy a layman\u2019s life and say, \u201cPractice is so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do foolish things like the Buddhist monk in the story who lost track of his initial goal. At a time like this, we have two options. One is to forget about our initial goals and live according to the situation we are now in. There is nothing wrong with that. The other is to return to our initial goal the moment we realize we deviated from it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People habitually say, \u201cI will be happy when I have money,\u201d or \u201cI will be happy when I get married.\u201d However, they are not happy even though they make money and get married. When they don\u2019t have children, they say \u201cI will be happy when I have a child.\u201d When they have a child, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to elementary school.\u201d When the child goes to elementary school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to middle school.\u201d When the child goes to middle school, they say, \u201cI will be happy when the child goes to college.\u201d When the child goes to college, they still postpone their happiness. They say that they will be happy \u201cwhen the child gets a job,\u201d \u201cwhen the child gets married,\u201d \u201cwhen I have a grandchild,\u201d and then \u201cwhen the grandchild grows up.\u201d Throughout their lives, people change the conditions that they think they need to be happy, so they end up dying without ever having tasted happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wealth, fame, family, and friends are neither the causes of suffering nor the conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we think these things make us happy, and at other times, we think they make us suffer. If we go back and forth between these two extremes, we will never be free from suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are married, instead of being dissatisfied and worrying about things, try to think, \u201cI have a wife(husband), a house and a job. I have nothing to envy in the world. My life is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we accept our lives as they are, we will become free and happy. If we have a goal that we want to achieve, we have to stop the habit of blindly running forward towards that goal. Rather than resolving to change our behavior starting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we have to learn to be happy here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no right answer in life. We live as we choose to. We hesitate when making choices because we don\u2019t want to be responsible for the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t say for certain that life is good or bad. There are only choices