When I ask people, “Are you happy?” in my talks, few people say yes. Each of them suffers due to personal worries and emotional wounds, relationship conflicts, frustration and stress about the irrational society, or anxiety about the future.
All kinds of things happen in our lives. Usually, things don’t turn out the way we want them to. We want to be loved but may get hurt instead or people we cared about may backstab us. Nothing in this world, however, happens without a reason. Nevertheless, it is not because of God’s will, sin committed in a previous life, or pure chance. We just don’t know the reason. If we can identify where the suffering comes from, we will be able to find the solution easily.
A large part of the reason we are unhappy lies in our inability to let go. Let’s say a man swore at us. It is the same as him handing us a bag of trash. We hold onto the dirty bag tightly and rummage through the trash all our lives saying, “He swore at me,” or “He slighted me.”
However, we can never enter the path to happiness when we cling to such negative feelings. If someone tries to give us a bag of trash, we shouldn’t take it. If we took it inadvertently, we should say, “Eww, it’s dirty,” and throw it away immediately. Unfortunately, however, we continue to keep it deep in our hearts, so it is difficult for us to be happy no matter how hard we try.
If we as individuals suffer due to our negative mindset, we should change this habit. if we suffer due to a relationship that went sour, we should examine the cause of the conflict and find the solution. If we think that a social system is the problem, we should first try our best to adapt to the current system, and then, if we are sure that the system is the problem, we should try to improve it. Most of us, however, just complain without making any effort to change it. As a result, the world doesn’t change, and we continue to be miserable.
Anybody who is born into this world has a right to be happy. Until now, for those who do not exercise their right to be happy and are mired in suffering, I have mostly talked about how individuals should cultivate their minds in their practice. In this book, however, I will also talk about social change, which is another wheel that pulls the cart of happiness. In the end, our happiness will be whole only when the individual’s mental attitude(seed) and social conditions(field) are cultivated together.
Individual happiness and making a good society are not two different things. An individual’s effort alone doesn’t make the world a better place nor do improved external conditions alone make an individual happy. Happiness and unhappiness are the results of a combination of the individual’s mental attitude and the surrounding environment.
So, we need to reflect on ourselves before blaming others and at the same time take responsibility for the improvement of any irrational part of the present reality. In the end, it is all to our benefit. No matter how hard we try to lead a good life, we are bound to suffer if things go wrong in the world. Complacent thoughts like “As long as it is not me, it’s all right.” or “It can’t possibly happen to me.” will not protect us.
To enter the path to complete happiness, from now on, we should live as the masters of our lives and of the world with the awareness that we ourselves create our own happiness. Each of us is an insignificant entity like a speck of dust in space, but when we become the masters of our own lives, we can change ourselves as well as the world.
When we aspire to become vital to the world and well used by the world rather than try to lead the good life and succeed for only our own benefit, we will be happy and be helpful to the world at the same time. Then, happiness will be a reality rather than a dream. It is also the way for us to exercise our right to be happy.
I hope that this book becomes a guide to happiness for those who are tired of living, got hurt in relationships, and suffer in this seemingly irrational world.
