\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
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Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
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Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
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<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 2 1 2
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This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Wishing for a long life does not mean it will be granted. Besides, how long you live is unimportant. It is more important to live with peace of mind, even if you live for just one day. Perhaps, letting go of the desire to live a long life may help us be healthier and free of stress which may in fact enable us to live longer.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Life Hereafter Is A Bonus","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-hereafter-is-a-bonus","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 21:10:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 02:10:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18151","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18148,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-04-02 07:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-04-02 12:00:00","post_content":"\n

P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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For the time being, the husband has overcome the limitations of his disease, so from now on, the woman should be happy even if he lives for just one more day, considering it as a bonus. Therefore, she shouldn\u2019t pray, \u201cBuddha, please save my husband,\u201d but instead pray, \u201cThank you Buddha. I am happy with things as they are. My husband is still alive thanks to your grace.\u201d She will be happy and free if she can be thankful about her situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing for a long life does not mean it will be granted. Besides, how long you live is unimportant. It is more important to live with peace of mind, even if you live for just one day. Perhaps, letting go of the desire to live a long life may help us be healthier and free of stress which may in fact enable us to live longer.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Life Hereafter Is A Bonus","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-hereafter-is-a-bonus","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 21:10:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 02:10:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18151","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18148,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-04-02 07:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-04-02 12:00:00","post_content":"\n

P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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The woman\u2019s husband has already succeeded since he has survived past the 3 months that the doctor predicted. If the couple can regard each additional day the husband is able to live as a blessing, it is a success even if he dies tomorrow, a month from now, or a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the time being, the husband has overcome the limitations of his disease, so from now on, the woman should be happy even if he lives for just one more day, considering it as a bonus. Therefore, she shouldn\u2019t pray, \u201cBuddha, please save my husband,\u201d but instead pray, \u201cThank you Buddha. I am happy with things as they are. My husband is still alive thanks to your grace.\u201d She will be happy and free if she can be thankful about her situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing for a long life does not mean it will be granted. Besides, how long you live is unimportant. It is more important to live with peace of mind, even if you live for just one day. Perhaps, letting go of the desire to live a long life may help us be healthier and free of stress which may in fact enable us to live longer.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Life Hereafter Is A Bonus","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-hereafter-is-a-bonus","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 21:10:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 02:10:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18151","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18148,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-04-02 07:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-04-02 12:00:00","post_content":"\n

P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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While it is understandable that she wants to cure her husband at any cost, we must remember that we are not designed to live for eternity. We are all destined to die someday whether it be ten years, five years, or three years from today. If we measure success or failure by the number of years we live, we will be fraught with anxiety every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman\u2019s husband has already succeeded since he has survived past the 3 months that the doctor predicted. If the couple can regard each additional day the husband is able to live as a blessing, it is a success even if he dies tomorrow, a month from now, or a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the time being, the husband has overcome the limitations of his disease, so from now on, the woman should be happy even if he lives for just one more day, considering it as a bonus. Therefore, she shouldn\u2019t pray, \u201cBuddha, please save my husband,\u201d but instead pray, \u201cThank you Buddha. I am happy with things as they are. My husband is still alive thanks to your grace.\u201d She will be happy and free if she can be thankful about her situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing for a long life does not mean it will be granted. Besides, how long you live is unimportant. It is more important to live with peace of mind, even if you live for just one day. Perhaps, letting go of the desire to live a long life may help us be healthier and free of stress which may in fact enable us to live longer.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Life Hereafter Is A Bonus","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-hereafter-is-a-bonus","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 21:10:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 02:10:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18151","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18148,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-04-02 07:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-04-02 12:00:00","post_content":"\n

P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If the woman lives with such a positive mindset, both she and her husband are likely to be happy during the precious time left of his life. However, if her husband dies while she tries desperately to cure him, she will inevitably become miserable. She will blame herself for failing to find the right treatment for her husband despite her tireless efforts. They can move to a place close to nature in the mountains if her husband is agreeable to it. However, if she clings to the hope that he will live when he moves there or that he will live if he gets cancer treatment at the hospital, she will obsess over the outcome. It is better for the couple to consider their efforts a success given that the man has already lived longer than what the doctor had predicted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it is understandable that she wants to cure her husband at any cost, we must remember that we are not designed to live for eternity. We are all destined to die someday whether it be ten years, five years, or three years from today. If we measure success or failure by the number of years we live, we will be fraught with anxiety every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman\u2019s husband has already succeeded since he has survived past the 3 months that the doctor predicted. If the couple can regard each additional day the husband is able to live as a blessing, it is a success even if he dies tomorrow, a month from now, or a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the time being, the husband has overcome the limitations of his disease, so from now on, the woman should be happy even if he lives for just one more day, considering it as a bonus. Therefore, she shouldn\u2019t pray, \u201cBuddha, please save my husband,\u201d but instead pray, \u201cThank you Buddha. I am happy with things as they are. My husband is still alive thanks to your grace.\u201d She will be happy and free if she can be thankful about her situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing for a long life does not mean it will be granted. Besides, how long you live is unimportant. It is more important to live with peace of mind, even if you live for just one day. Perhaps, letting go of the desire to live a long life may help us be healthier and free of stress which may in fact enable us to live longer.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Life Hereafter Is A Bonus","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-hereafter-is-a-bonus","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 21:10:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 02:10:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18151","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18148,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-04-02 07:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-04-02 12:00:00","post_content":"\n

P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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However, she should let go of her desire for his complete recovery. She should just plan to do what she can while he is alive rather than obsess about a complete cure. If you think about it, the current treatment is already successful since her husband has lived past the 3 to 6 months the doctor had predicted. So, whether he survives only for a month or two more, she should think, \u201cAny amount of time my husband is alive hereafter is a bonus. I am so grateful that he is still alive. It will be alright even if he died next month, in 2 months or in 10 months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the woman lives with such a positive mindset, both she and her husband are likely to be happy during the precious time left of his life. However, if her husband dies while she tries desperately to cure him, she will inevitably become miserable. She will blame herself for failing to find the right treatment for her husband despite her tireless efforts. They can move to a place close to nature in the mountains if her husband is agreeable to it. However, if she clings to the hope that he will live when he moves there or that he will live if he gets cancer treatment at the hospital, she will obsess over the outcome. It is better for the couple to consider their efforts a success given that the man has already lived longer than what the doctor had predicted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it is understandable that she wants to cure her husband at any cost, we must remember that we are not designed to live for eternity. We are all destined to die someday whether it be ten years, five years, or three years from today. If we measure success or failure by the number of years we live, we will be fraught with anxiety every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman\u2019s husband has already succeeded since he has survived past the 3 months that the doctor predicted. If the couple can regard each additional day the husband is able to live as a blessing, it is a success even if he dies tomorrow, a month from now, or a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the time being, the husband has overcome the limitations of his disease, so from now on, the woman should be happy even if he lives for just one more day, considering it as a bonus. Therefore, she shouldn\u2019t pray, \u201cBuddha, please save my husband,\u201d but instead pray, \u201cThank you Buddha. I am happy with things as they are. My husband is still alive thanks to your grace.\u201d She will be happy and free if she can be thankful about her situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing for a long life does not mean it will be granted. Besides, how long you live is unimportant. It is more important to live with peace of mind, even if you live for just one day. Perhaps, letting go of the desire to live a long life may help us be healthier and free of stress which may in fact enable us to live longer.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Life Hereafter Is A Bonus","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-hereafter-is-a-bonus","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 21:10:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 02:10:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18151","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18148,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-04-02 07:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-04-02 12:00:00","post_content":"\n

P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P: <\/strong>There is no right answer. Some people die despite adhering to the doctor's instructions while others die because they did not. Also, although some people who went to live close to nature in the mountains survived, others who did the same did not. As you can see it is impossible to determine what may be the best choice. If it\u2019s too hard to decide between the two, there is the option of continuing with chemotherapy while living somewhere close to nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, she should let go of her desire for his complete recovery. She should just plan to do what she can while he is alive rather than obsess about a complete cure. If you think about it, the current treatment is already successful since her husband has lived past the 3 to 6 months the doctor had predicted. So, whether he survives only for a month or two more, she should think, \u201cAny amount of time my husband is alive hereafter is a bonus. I am so grateful that he is still alive. It will be alright even if he died next month, in 2 months or in 10 months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the woman lives with such a positive mindset, both she and her husband are likely to be happy during the precious time left of his life. However, if her husband dies while she tries desperately to cure him, she will inevitably become miserable. She will blame herself for failing to find the right treatment for her husband despite her tireless efforts. They can move to a place close to nature in the mountains if her husband is agreeable to it. However, if she clings to the hope that he will live when he moves there or that he will live if he gets cancer treatment at the hospital, she will obsess over the outcome. It is better for the couple to consider their efforts a success given that the man has already lived longer than what the doctor had predicted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it is understandable that she wants to cure her husband at any cost, we must remember that we are not designed to live for eternity. We are all destined to die someday whether it be ten years, five years, or three years from today. If we measure success or failure by the number of years we live, we will be fraught with anxiety every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman\u2019s husband has already succeeded since he has survived past the 3 months that the doctor predicted. If the couple can regard each additional day the husband is able to live as a blessing, it is a success even if he dies tomorrow, a month from now, or a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the time being, the husband has overcome the limitations of his disease, so from now on, the woman should be happy even if he lives for just one more day, considering it as a bonus. Therefore, she shouldn\u2019t pray, \u201cBuddha, please save my husband,\u201d but instead pray, \u201cThank you Buddha. I am happy with things as they are. My husband is still alive thanks to your grace.\u201d She will be happy and free if she can be thankful about her situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing for a long life does not mean it will be granted. Besides, how long you live is unimportant. It is more important to live with peace of mind, even if you live for just one day. Perhaps, letting go of the desire to live a long life may help us be healthier and free of stress which may in fact enable us to live longer.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Life Hereafter Is A Bonus","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-hereafter-is-a-bonus","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 21:10:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 02:10:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18151","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18148,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-04-02 07:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-04-02 12:00:00","post_content":"\n

P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q: \u201cThe doctor said he had three to six months left to live. I don\u2019t know if it was the chemotherapy or his natural diet, but he has lived more than six months since his diagnosis. Some people suggest that my husband rely solely on a natural diet to cure his cancer while others recommend that he keep receiving chemotherapy treatment. What should I do?\u201d<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>There is no right answer. Some people die despite adhering to the doctor's instructions while others die because they did not. Also, although some people who went to live close to nature in the mountains survived, others who did the same did not. As you can see it is impossible to determine what may be the best choice. If it\u2019s too hard to decide between the two, there is the option of continuing with chemotherapy while living somewhere close to nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, she should let go of her desire for his complete recovery. She should just plan to do what she can while he is alive rather than obsess about a complete cure. If you think about it, the current treatment is already successful since her husband has lived past the 3 to 6 months the doctor had predicted. So, whether he survives only for a month or two more, she should think, \u201cAny amount of time my husband is alive hereafter is a bonus. I am so grateful that he is still alive. It will be alright even if he died next month, in 2 months or in 10 months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the woman lives with such a positive mindset, both she and her husband are likely to be happy during the precious time left of his life. However, if her husband dies while she tries desperately to cure him, she will inevitably become miserable. She will blame herself for failing to find the right treatment for her husband despite her tireless efforts. They can move to a place close to nature in the mountains if her husband is agreeable to it. However, if she clings to the hope that he will live when he moves there or that he will live if he gets cancer treatment at the hospital, she will obsess over the outcome. It is better for the couple to consider their efforts a success given that the man has already lived longer than what the doctor had predicted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it is understandable that she wants to cure her husband at any cost, we must remember that we are not designed to live for eternity. We are all destined to die someday whether it be ten years, five years, or three years from today. If we measure success or failure by the number of years we live, we will be fraught with anxiety every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman\u2019s husband has already succeeded since he has survived past the 3 months that the doctor predicted. If the couple can regard each additional day the husband is able to live as a blessing, it is a success even if he dies tomorrow, a month from now, or a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the time being, the husband has overcome the limitations of his disease, so from now on, the woman should be happy even if he lives for just one more day, considering it as a bonus. Therefore, she shouldn\u2019t pray, \u201cBuddha, please save my husband,\u201d but instead pray, \u201cThank you Buddha. I am happy with things as they are. My husband is still alive thanks to your grace.\u201d She will be happy and free if she can be thankful about her situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing for a long life does not mean it will be granted. Besides, how long you live is unimportant. It is more important to live with peace of mind, even if you live for just one day. Perhaps, letting go of the desire to live a long life may help us be healthier and free of stress which may in fact enable us to live longer.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Life Hereafter Is A Bonus","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-hereafter-is-a-bonus","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 21:10:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 02:10:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18151","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18148,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-04-02 07:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-04-02 12:00:00","post_content":"\n

P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Worrying about contracting cancer and dying from it will only cause you more stress. If you worry, you may feel more ill and may become consumed with anxiety. If this happens, it is a good idea to reflect on how you are obsessing over your body. You need to realize that you are a mortal being even though it felt like you would be healthy forever when you were young. You need to let go of your obsession over good health and longevity. That way, even if you become ill, you may be able to accept it with equanimity. One day, a woman consulted me about her husband who had been diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: \u201cThe doctor said he had three to six months left to live. I don\u2019t know if it was the chemotherapy or his natural diet, but he has lived more than six months since his diagnosis. Some people suggest that my husband rely solely on a natural diet to cure his cancer while others recommend that he keep receiving chemotherapy treatment. What should I do?\u201d<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>There is no right answer. Some people die despite adhering to the doctor's instructions while others die because they did not. Also, although some people who went to live close to nature in the mountains survived, others who did the same did not. As you can see it is impossible to determine what may be the best choice. If it\u2019s too hard to decide between the two, there is the option of continuing with chemotherapy while living somewhere close to nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, she should let go of her desire for his complete recovery. She should just plan to do what she can while he is alive rather than obsess about a complete cure. If you think about it, the current treatment is already successful since her husband has lived past the 3 to 6 months the doctor had predicted. So, whether he survives only for a month or two more, she should think, \u201cAny amount of time my husband is alive hereafter is a bonus. I am so grateful that he is still alive. It will be alright even if he died next month, in 2 months or in 10 months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the woman lives with such a positive mindset, both she and her husband are likely to be happy during the precious time left of his life. However, if her husband dies while she tries desperately to cure him, she will inevitably become miserable. She will blame herself for failing to find the right treatment for her husband despite her tireless efforts. They can move to a place close to nature in the mountains if her husband is agreeable to it. However, if she clings to the hope that he will live when he moves there or that he will live if he gets cancer treatment at the hospital, she will obsess over the outcome. It is better for the couple to consider their efforts a success given that the man has already lived longer than what the doctor had predicted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it is understandable that she wants to cure her husband at any cost, we must remember that we are not designed to live for eternity. We are all destined to die someday whether it be ten years, five years, or three years from today. If we measure success or failure by the number of years we live, we will be fraught with anxiety every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman\u2019s husband has already succeeded since he has survived past the 3 months that the doctor predicted. If the couple can regard each additional day the husband is able to live as a blessing, it is a success even if he dies tomorrow, a month from now, or a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the time being, the husband has overcome the limitations of his disease, so from now on, the woman should be happy even if he lives for just one more day, considering it as a bonus. Therefore, she shouldn\u2019t pray, \u201cBuddha, please save my husband,\u201d but instead pray, \u201cThank you Buddha. I am happy with things as they are. My husband is still alive thanks to your grace.\u201d She will be happy and free if she can be thankful about her situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing for a long life does not mean it will be granted. Besides, how long you live is unimportant. It is more important to live with peace of mind, even if you live for just one day. Perhaps, letting go of the desire to live a long life may help us be healthier and free of stress which may in fact enable us to live longer.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Life Hereafter Is A Bonus","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-hereafter-is-a-bonus","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 21:10:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 02:10:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18151","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18148,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-04-02 07:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-04-02 12:00:00","post_content":"\n

P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best we can today. Then, we will be able to live a life without regrets even if we were to die tomorrow. If you live your life contentedly, regardless of worldly success, that is a good life. If you are always content with your current life, that is a happy life.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Right Now, We Are In The Prime Of Our Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"right-now-we-are-in-the-prime-of-our-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:31","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17841","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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There are many causes of cancer including eating processed food containing carcinogens, drinking polluted water, breathing polluted air, and suffering from mental stress. In order to decrease the chances of getting cancer, you should avoid getting overly stressed and consume natural organic food. Even if you contract cancer, you can get cured with proper treatment, especially if you are diagnosed in the early stages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Worrying about contracting cancer and dying from it will only cause you more stress. If you worry, you may feel more ill and may become consumed with anxiety. If this happens, it is a good idea to reflect on how you are obsessing over your body. You need to realize that you are a mortal being even though it felt like you would be healthy forever when you were young. You need to let go of your obsession over good health and longevity. That way, even if you become ill, you may be able to accept it with equanimity. One day, a woman consulted me about her husband who had been diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: \u201cThe doctor said he had three to six months left to live. I don\u2019t know if it was the chemotherapy or his natural diet, but he has lived more than six months since his diagnosis. Some people suggest that my husband rely solely on a natural diet to cure his cancer while others recommend that he keep receiving chemotherapy treatment. What should I do?\u201d<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>There is no right answer. Some people die despite adhering to the doctor's instructions while others die because they did not. Also, although some people who went to live close to nature in the mountains survived, others who did the same did not. As you can see it is impossible to determine what may be the best choice. If it\u2019s too hard to decide between the two, there is the option of continuing with chemotherapy while living somewhere close to nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, she should let go of her desire for his complete recovery. She should just plan to do what she can while he is alive rather than obsess about a complete cure. If you think about it, the current treatment is already successful since her husband has lived past the 3 to 6 months the doctor had predicted. So, whether he survives only for a month or two more, she should think, \u201cAny amount of time my husband is alive hereafter is a bonus. I am so grateful that he is still alive. It will be alright even if he died next month, in 2 months or in 10 months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the woman lives with such a positive mindset, both she and her husband are likely to be happy during the precious time left of his life. However, if her husband dies while she tries desperately to cure him, she will inevitably become miserable. She will blame herself for failing to find the right treatment for her husband despite her tireless efforts. They can move to a place close to nature in the mountains if her husband is agreeable to it. However, if she clings to the hope that he will live when he moves there or that he will live if he gets cancer treatment at the hospital, she will obsess over the outcome. It is better for the couple to consider their efforts a success given that the man has already lived longer than what the doctor had predicted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it is understandable that she wants to cure her husband at any cost, we must remember that we are not designed to live for eternity. We are all destined to die someday whether it be ten years, five years, or three years from today. If we measure success or failure by the number of years we live, we will be fraught with anxiety every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman\u2019s husband has already succeeded since he has survived past the 3 months that the doctor predicted. If the couple can regard each additional day the husband is able to live as a blessing, it is a success even if he dies tomorrow, a month from now, or a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the time being, the husband has overcome the limitations of his disease, so from now on, the woman should be happy even if he lives for just one more day, considering it as a bonus. Therefore, she shouldn\u2019t pray, \u201cBuddha, please save my husband,\u201d but instead pray, \u201cThank you Buddha. I am happy with things as they are. My husband is still alive thanks to your grace.\u201d She will be happy and free if she can be thankful about her situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wishing for a long life does not mean it will be granted. Besides, how long you live is unimportant. It is more important to live with peace of mind, even if you live for just one day. Perhaps, letting go of the desire to live a long life may help us be healthier and free of stress which may in fact enable us to live longer.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Life Hereafter Is A Bonus","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-hereafter-is-a-bonus","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 21:10:44","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 02:10:44","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18151","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":18148,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-04-02 07:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-04-02 12:00:00","post_content":"\n

P:<\/strong> There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It\u2019s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me, \u201cI copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o\u2019clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it\u2019s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone once asked me, \u201cSince I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one\u2019s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won\u2019t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, \u201cI apologized but he didn\u2019t accept it,\u201d after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment \u2013 be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars \u2013 and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, \u201cThis is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.\u201d In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won\u2019t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Practice That Helps You Tame Your Impatience","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"practice-that-helps-you-tame-your-impatience","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-03-11 20:11:51","post_modified_gmt":"2024-03-12 01:11:51","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=18148","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17859,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-02-06 09:38:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-02-06 14:38:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Why do we fear death? The thought that everything will end when we die may trigger a sense of sorrow about others as well as ourselves. These sentiment fuels fear. Our fear of death has spawned legends and religions that promise a beautiful afterlife, devised to alleviate the terror we feel about the unknown. It feels less fearful to think that it doesn\u2019t end when we die, that we will live on in some way or go to a better place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether or not the afterlife actually exists is not important. What matters is that the belief in the afterlife helps us overcome our fear of death. How empty would we feel to think that our loved ones will disappear completely when they die? Thinking they are in a better place gives us great comfort. For this reason, instead of asking the question whether life after death exists or not, it\u2019s better to examine whether or not the belief of its existence is beneficial to people. It appears to be more beneficial than harmful, so it\u2019s best to accept the age-old methods that humans have established to overcome the fear of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we should refrain from putting too much emphasis on the idea of the afterlife because we know from history that it can also have negative side effects. Some examples include churches demanding large donations in exchange for a \u201cticket to Heaven\u201d and Buddhist temples overcharging for 49-day prayer rituals for the dead (49 jae: a Buddhist-Confucian ceremony for the deceased). These examples show how religion can take advantage of people\u2019s fear as a means of extortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the point of practice, fear of death is no more real than a daydream. When our fear of death disappears and we can accept our inevitable demise as part of the natural order, it will become irrelevant whether or not the afterlife exists and whether our spirits will go to a good place or a bad place. When fear melts away, everything that stemmed from fear becomes nothing but a dream. While dreaming, there are good dreams and bad dreams. However, when we wake up from the dream, regardless of whether it was good or bad, we realize that it was a dream. In the same vein, when we grasp the essence of fear, all the issues that originated from it will disperse like clouds. This is how we \u201ctranscend life and death.\u201d Transcending life and death doesn\u2019t mean \"not dying\". Instead, it means realizing that life and death do not actually exist. The afterlife is a frequent topic in Buddhism. According to Buddhist beliefs, people go to paradise when they die or are reincarnated, but this cannot be proven. Every religion has different beliefs about the afterlife, but none of them has been proven. There is no point in debating endlessly which belief is right when all is but theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo matter what evil deeds you have done, bathing in the holy Ganga River will wash away your sins and you will go to heaven upon your death. But if you do not bathe in the Ganga River, no matter how good you have been throughout your life, you will not be accepted into heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a common belief among people in India during the Buddha\u2019s lifetime. Therefore, they washed their bodies in the holy river, and those who had never bathed in the holy river during their lifetime were dipped in it posthumously. They all believed they had to do that in order to go to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person who had heard of this belief went to the Buddha and asked if the Brahmans were telling the truth. The Buddha answered with a smile on his face:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf what they say is true, the fish in the river will be the first ones to go to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Buddha was saying that if a man can go to heaven for being dipped in the Ganga River after his death, the fish that live in the river will go to heaven before anyone. The Buddha\u2019s words help us obtain a big realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, Buddhists have believed that the greedy will be reincarnated as swine, the lazy as cows, and the nasty as serpents. But are pigs really that gluttonous? They eat when they are hungry, but they stop eating when they are no longer hungry. They don\u2019t prevent other pigs from eating the remaining food. Humans, on the other hand, do not share food stored in their homes, even if there is someone starving right before their eyes. People are much greedier than pigs. Lions are wild and ferocious, but they will not kill a hare that crosses their path when they are not hungry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have created an image of a gluttonous pig based on the sound they make when they eat and made them synonymous with greed. There is no proof that a greedy person is reincarnated as a pig. Besides, reincarnation originated with Hinduism, so it\u2019s not actually a Buddhist belief. Over ninety percent of Korean Buddhists believe in Hindu doctrines, but they mistakenly think it\u2019s Buddhism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An old lady came to consult me about her worries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI pray to the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, the Goddess of Mercy, but I am afraid my prayer will not be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you praying for?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a senior in high school. I am praying that my granddaughter gets accepted into a good college.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you worried about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy granddaughter is a Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt that her prayer would not be answered however hard she prayed to the Goddess of Mercy, a Buddhist bodhisattva because her granddaughter attended a Christian church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry at all. The Goddess of Mercy is very kind and generous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would the infinitely compassionate Goddess of Mercy care whether a high school senior goes to a church or a Buddhist temple? She wouldn\u2019t be the Goddess of Mercy if she did, would she? Our religious beliefs are limited by our ignorance, and we disparage God or the Buddha by bringing them down to our own level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting back to the subject, there is no need to worry about the afterlife. If heaven and hell actually existed, you will go to heaven, not to hell, when you do good deeds. Your future is decided by how you live your life now. Living well today will ensure a better tomorrow. Hoping for a better tomorrow while living an improper life today is like trying to catch a cloud. People who do bad deeds rightly deserve punishment, but when they refuse to accept the consequences and ask to be sent to heaven, they demonstrate a complete lack of consciousness. Wanting to go to heaven when they have done nothing to deserve it and refusing to go to hell when they have performed deeds that warrant it is no different from desiring a good harvest after planting rotten seeds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are a true Christian, you shouldn\u2019t worry about living and dying. Since God decides whether to send someone to heaven and hell, you should just follow his will. If you are a Buddhist who believes in the law of cause and effect and know that the everything originates from the mind, you just need to cultivate your mind without worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Then, your tomorrow will be better, so there is nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How To Overcome The Fear Of Death","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-death-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:42:08","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:42:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17859","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17856,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-30 09:20:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-30 14:20:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling on the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession with friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:36:53","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:36:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17856","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17851,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-23 09:16:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-23 14:16:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> What should a woman do if her husband is adamant about getting a divorce but she wants to maintain the marriage for the sake of her young children? Should she cry and plead with her husband to change his mind? Or, should she just let go of him and get divorced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy family became bankrupt as a result of my husband\u2019s attempt to expand his business beyond our means. His negligence toward me and my children made me fall into depression, and I\u2019ve had a very difficult time. Since last year, I started listening to your dharma talks and tried very hard to recover from my depression, but my husband has left the house demanding a divorce. I did the best I could every day while waiting for my husband to return home. Maybe thanks to those efforts, my children and I are doing better. However, my husband is still demanding a divorce and wants to talk about what to do about our children.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shed tears while lamenting that all her effort to heal the wound of her family was in vain. Her suffering stems from one reason - wanting her husband to change. She should be comfortable with her husband just the way he is, but if the premise of her prayer is \u201cMy husband will change if I act in a certain way\u201d, her life will be dependent on her husband\u2019s behavior and attitude. She will be at peace if she understands her husband and sympathizes with him, but she will suffer if she thinks that her husband will change if she acts in a certain way. Because she was so dependent on her husband, she was crying about the fact that he hasn\u2019t changed his mind about wanting to divorce her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a divorce lawsuit, she will be at a disadvantage is she initiates it, but if her husband is the one who initiates it, she doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything. The husband will have to do all the paperwork, hire a lawyer, schedule the date, and so on, so she won\u2019t have to do anything. When she goes to court, she can truthfully say, \u201cI still love my husband. Your honor, please protect our family.\u201d Then, the judge will very likely decide in her favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the husband still insists on getting a divorce, she can make her decision based on the situation. For example, he may offer her all his assets in return for a divorce. If he is adamant about getting a divorce, he may offer other incentives. If the offer is something she would be happy with, she can agree to the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can a person act like that? How could I have ever married such a man?\u201d If she thinks this way, she will be so miserable that she won\u2019t be able to sleep. She should just let her husband be and lead a good life with her children. If the children ask why their father doesn\u2019t come home, she should simply console them by saying, \u201cYour father must be having some difficulties. Let\u2019s pray for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the present modern age, women\u2019s rights are so well protected that women don\u2019t have to cling desperately to their marriage. Also, there is really no need for women to curse their husbands for wanting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right now, she is still dependent on her husband, so her happiness and unhappiness are determined by her husband\u2019s actions. However, it will be good for her if she can sympathize with him, \u201cHe must be really troubled and frustrated to be acting that way\u201d and pray for him, \u201cI believe my husband will be fine. I love my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This lady shouldn\u2019t expect her husband to change in any way or want him to come back and reunite with her. She should simply stop begging for happiness. She should become centered so she can stand on her own and have a positive mindset. Then, her face will brighten up and she will be able to raise her children well.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Don\u2019t Beg For Happiness","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"dont-beg-for-happiness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:20:31","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:20:31","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17851","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17847,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-16 09:04:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-16 14:04:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> People say that when we perform many good deeds, we will either be blessed with good fortune or be born into a better world in the next life. However, regardless of how many good deeds we have done, the outcome will differ depending on our mental attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, people want to be appreciated and praised for their good deeds. But, such an attitude is likely to leave them disappointed and betrayed when their good deeds are not rewarded or appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a family, there are many instances in which mothers, who raised their children with unconditional love, are saddened when their grown-up children fail to appreciate their hard work. They may become depressed and think to themselves, \u201cIt\u2019s useless to raise children.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, there are many instances in which people who devoted their time and energy to volunteer work become miserable because they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve. We sometimes encounter people, working for the welfare of others by volunteering their time, giving alms, and working in civic groups, who are unhappy. This is because they are kind of disappointed that, although they devoted themselves to benefit others, the world does not appreciate their efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What these people need to do is to let go of the thought that they are doing good deeds while doing them. In The Diamond Sutra, there is a passage that goes \u201cBodhisattvas liberate all unenlightened beings from suffering, yet they don\u2019t have the notion of doing so.\u201d This means that if bodhisattvas have the notion that they are liberating unenlightened beings from suffering, they themselves will fall into suffering, and those who do so cannot be regarded as bodhisattvas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bodhisattvas can justly be born in Heaven in consideration of the number of good deeds they have done, but they have made an aspiration rather enter Hell in order to help to suffer unenlightened beings. Bodhisattvas take control of their own lives, while unenlightened beings are controlled by their karma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are unenlightened beings controlled by their karma? Unenlightened beings expect to receive without giving and want to be understood without understanding others. Thus, they live as slaves rather than as masters of their own lives because they are always bound to others. However, bodhisattvas help others without expecting anything in return, so it doesn't matter whether their deeds are appreciated or not. Bodhisattvas are free of external conditions, and therefore, they are the masters of their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17841,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-02 08:51:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-02 13:51:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> When we are young, time seems to crawl at a snail\u2019s pace, but as we get older, time seems to fly by. As we all know, time passes at the same speed for everyone, but why does it feel different for the young and the old? When we are young, we are impatient to become adults, so we sometimes add a year or two to our age. Since the young are impatient to grow up, time seems to drag along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we hit adulthood, however, we want to seem younger than we are and even lie about our age. This is because while time brings growth when we are young, it causes decline after a certain age. Our smooth skin becomes wrinkled, gray hair begins to peek out among the dark hair, and our once inexhaustible physical strength begins to weaken day by day. Even though we are still young at heart, our bodies feel their age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, at the thought of \u201cI've grown old without having achieved anything,\u201d we become afraid of the future and dwell on the past. Therefore, as we age, we keep reminiscing about past events and become nostalgic about the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may wistfully think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d But were we really happy then? Are all young people happy? Ask middle school, high school students, or even college students if they are happy. They will all tell you that life is tough. We may remember the past as a time filled with happiness, but in reality, we weren\u2019t always happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our regrets are a reflection of our dissatisfaction with ourselves now and our current lives. When an opinion poll was taken of people ranging in age from teens to 50s and they were asked to describe their biggest regret, the top answer, regardless of age, was \u201cI should have studied harder when I was in school.\u201d People felt that their lives would have turned out better had they been better students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, we constantly feel regret about the past and cling to the past. We think to ourselves, \u201cIf I had only known then what I know now... If only I had made this choice instead\u2026 and write a scenario of what our lives could have been. We regret the choices we made in the past and feel unhappy with the way we are now. When we cling to the irreversible past, the present can only be miserable and unsatisfactory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is the secret to having a happy life, free from regrets? It is to live fully in the present whatever your age may be. Teenagers should focus on what teenagers should do and those in their 20\u2019s should focus on what they should be doing at their age. Teenagers should dedicate themselves to their studies. As an adult, people have to take responsibility for their lives and earn a living, but teenagers only need to study and will be praised just for getting good grades. Teenagers don\u2019t realize that they will experience such a period of time only once in their lives. Because they don\u2019t know how good they have it, teenagers thank life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their 20\u2019s, people may experience the bliss of falling in love and the heartache of breaking up. This is a special privilege of the young. Even if they fail in a relationship, the experience enables them to have a deeper understanding of people and become more mature. However, because such experiences are difficult to go through, they are impatient to get older in order to avoid heartbreaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While people find life hard and sometimes even miserable during their 20\u2019s, as they grow older, they miss that time and think, \u201cThose were the good old days.\u201d People in their 40\u2019s and 50\u2019s lament their mature age. However, after 10 years, they think, \u201cIf only I were 10 years younger.\u201d Being old is all relative. When a high school senior sends a high school junior on an errand, he says, \u201cYou do it, since you are young. This oldie will get some rest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children fail to fully live in the moment because they try to behave like adults. Young people wish to get older quickly because they feel life is so hard. The elderly, envy the young thinking, \u201cLife was better when I was young.\u201d Such foolishness results from their inability to appreciate the happiness they have been given in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, while the young should be happy to be young with plenty of energy and dreams for the future, the elderly should appreciate how a lifetime of experiences has brought them a great depth of understanding. That is, we should be positive about ourselves and improve our present lives. Those who are content as they are, whether as children, as young people, or as aging adults, will be happy throughout their lives. In fact, those who live fully in the present without clinging to the past and being afraid of the future are always in the prime of their lives. Then, instead of being sad as we age, we can live happily until the end of our lives. The reason we are full of regret, dissatisfaction, and misery as we age lies in our inability to remain centered on true values and being swayed by worldly values. In other words, we have been taken hostage by countless worldly desires such as attending the best college, earning more money, achieving a higher social status, and making a name for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to maintain our focus on true values and resolve life\u2019s issues, we must set aside our desires for wealth, a successful career, fame, and heath which have been our priorities until now. Because these desires were in the way, and we were busy pursuing them, we were blind to what is truly important in life. Only when we let go of those desires are we able to open our eyes and finally see the path to real happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a good look at yourself to see if you are squandering your life as if you are going to live forever. Since we don\u2019t know when we will die, we should do the best w