P: There was a person who complained to me that he was having a hard time concentrating on his practice even though he was trying very hard. Why do you think that he could not concentrate despite his efforts? It’s because he was being greedy and trying too hard, just like when he was making money in his youth. We practice to let go of greed, but because he was so greedy about focusing on his practice, he actually failed to do so.
He told me, “I copied the Diamond Sutra by hand for ten years, and then chanted the Mantra-dharani in the Shurangama Sutra for a while. Now, I get up at four o’clock in the morning and recite the Great Dharani 108 times, read one chapter of the Diamond Sutra, and copy one paragraph of the Diamond Sutra by hand.”
This person kept changing his method of practice in a continuous search for a better one. This is greed. You can attain Nirvana only when you let go of your greed. However, this person copied the Diamond Sutra and chanted the Shurangama Sutra out of greed to attain enlightenment. He will be able to obtain better results by persevering with one method of practice.
The worst thing in practice is impatience. When doing business, a person is unlikely to succeed when he is impatient to make a lot of money quickly. Likewise, trying to attain enlightenment quickly is quite impossible since it’s like trying to get something for free. One should practice calmly and steadily.
Someone once asked me, “Since I have created various negative karma, I intend to practice diligently from now on. How should I live the rest of my life?”
Although resolving to live happily for the rest of one’s life focusing on practice can be regarded as a passion, it is also greed. When people practice out of greed, they won’t be able to obtain the desired results. Then, why is this greed? First of all, when people think they have created a lot of negative karma, they should be willing to accept the consequences. Trying to avoid the consequences through practice, chanting a few lines in the sutras for instance, is greed. This can be compared to asking to be forgiven with a one-time apology after inflicting great pain on someone. Saying, “I apologized but he didn’t accept it,” after apologizing just once can be regarded as greed.
In fact, you should apologize sincerely thinking of the pain you have caused and be willing to continue doing it for at least ten years. It is greed to blame the other person for not accepting the apology after just apologizing only once. It means you are refusing to receive the consequences of your actions.
Practice is about becoming willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should avoid thinking that you can make up for not raising your child well by chanting the sutra. The Buddhist sutras tell us that we should gladly accept the consequences of our actions, not the opposite. We can be free from suffering when we can regard whatever problems that occur in our family as due consequences and accept them willingly. This is practice. If we are not miserable despite receiving the consequences, it is as good as not receiving any consequences at all.
After having borrowed $1,000 from someone, can you avoid paying it back by reading a line from a Buddhist sutra? Of course not. In fact, you should become willing to pay the money back after reading the sutra even though you were unwilling before. When the person who loaned you the money comes to collect the debt, you should give him whatever amount of money you have at that moment – be it a dollar, ten dollars or a hundred dollars – and ask for forgiveness for not being able to pay back the full amount. If you say sincerely, “This is all I have, so please take this and please take whatever you think has any value.” In such a case, the creditor may be more understanding and either give you more time to repay the debt or forgive part of the debt. Then, you won’t feel so anxious or miserable when the creditor comes to collect that debt. The willingness to accept the consequences will in fact enable you to become free of them.