\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n
\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n
\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
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There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
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This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 2 1 2
\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15516,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-04 11:57:35","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-04 16:57:35","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: A sunny day can suddenly turn into a cloudy day and innocent drops of rain can turn into a torrential downpour in a matter of seconds. Similarly, a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds and lightning can clear up right away. Then, there are grey and gloomy days when the sky remains overcast all day long and feels like it could begin to rain at any minute. Just as the weather is unpredictable, our lives are also full of unexpected events. Even though people only thought of living happily ever after with their spouses when they first got married, they may unexpectedly end up getting divorced. When awaiting the birth of their child, most parents think their child will be obedient and smart. However, the actual experience of raising a child can be quite different from what they had imagined. For example, the child might not be a good student and could get himself into trouble, and as a result, he can become the source of a big headache for the parents. Likewise, when starting a business, people envision making a lot of money. However, there are instances in which not only do their business fail to bring in any income but end up making themselves and even their families and their relatives go bankrupt. Also, we can be let go at a moment\u2019s notice from a job that we thought we would keep until we retire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will simply praying for your life to be smooth sailing, without any hardships, make it possible for you to have such lives? How about praying that our husbands come home early from work, our wives are more loving, our children excel in school, and people appreciate us? Do you think such prayers will solve the problems in our lives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we always wish that our lives turn out the way we want, our happiness and unhappiness depend on what happens in our lives. We believe happiness and freedom are about getting money when we want it, having someone walk into our lives when we want to date, and having someone walk out of our lives when we no longer want the relationship. However, to our dismay, not everything in our lives turns out the way we had hoped. Because some things work out while others don\u2019t, we are left to alternate between happiness and unhappiness. Thus, life is said to be a combination of both happiness and unhappiness. Repeatedly swinging back and forth between happiness and unhappiness can be compared to Samsara, the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. We are happy one moment, but the very next moment, we are unhappy. We alternate between the two emotional states depending on whether we have our way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life, happiness from good things that happen to us and unhappiness from bad things that happen come always hand in hand. This kind of happiness cannot be considered true happiness. Feeling happy because things turned out the way we wanted is similar to feeling high from drugs, so we need to keep on taking drugs in order to feel happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please, examine carefully what you believed were happy and unhappy moments in your lives. Some things may seem bad and others may seem good to you now. However, after time passes, you may realize that something that you thought was bad actually ended up benefiting you while something that you believed to be good ended up hurting you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are aware of this, your emotions don\u2019t fluctuate as much as before because you are not as attached to happiness and you suffer less from unhappiness. Whereas you used to immediately become happy by the good things and quickly fall into unhappiness by the bad things that happened to you, now you are able to discern that what may seem bad are not necessarily bad and what may seem good are not necessarily good either. Then, you won\u2019t be as influenced by the external conditions as before, so you will be less likely to be overly happy or unnecessarily sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was once tortured and was forced to live in a prison for a few months. I was devastated at the time, but the experience gave me valuable insights I could not have gained anywhere else and has helped me with my practice and my dharma talks. Additionally, the experience has helped me tremendously in understanding the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To give you an example, my attitude towards inmates has drastically changed after the experience of living in the prison myself. Before, I would have lectured to them saying something along the lines of \u201cAlthough you have committed crimes, you can redeem yourselves if you repent now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, during my time in prison, I was able to gain an insight into the minds of the inmates. Since I was there for violating the law on assembly and demonstration, I was categorized as a political prisoner. However, as a punishment for being uncooperative during interrogation, I was placed in a jail cell with 12 other inmates. These inmates were detained for misdemeanors, but every one of them claimed they were innocent. All of them felt that they were being unjustly punished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to visit a prison today and give a dharma talk to the inmates, the first thing I would say to them is \u201cLife is not fair, right?\u201d This empathetic phrase will enable me to instantly create an emotional connection with them. This is not the kind of knowledge you can get from reading books but one that you can only get from the actual experience of living in a prison and spending time with the inmates. Undoubtedly, it was very difficult to endure at the time, but it proved to be an excellent opportunity for me to learn many things. From this perspective, even the things we label as unfortunate events in our lives are not necessarily bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accumulating diverse life experiences is what helps us mature as we get older. When we are young, even a trivial incident can reduce us to tears and make us feel as if it were the end of the world. However, in hindsight, we realize that the incident was actually a blessing in disguise. For instance, when someone breaks up with you, it made you despair and feel like your life was over. Later, however, you realize that the experience has enabled you to become a better judge of character and to gain an insight into the psychology of dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a good idea to regard everything that has happened to you in a positive light. After all, having a negative perspective won\u2019t change what has already happened in the past. I am not suggesting that you should be overly optimistic and have a blind faith that everything will turn out well, no matter what. Rather, your mindset should be \u201cEverything that has already happened is always for the best.\u201d This way, any situation you find yourself in can be a learning opportunity, which will enable you to gain abundant experience. As a result, you will be able to impart some words of wisdom to others.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Everything That Has Already Happened Is Always For The Best","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"everything-that-has-already-happened-is-always-for-the-best","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:09:27","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:09:27","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15516","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q&A from Sunday Meditation with Ven. Pomnyun Sunim (법륜스님)